The Most Common Mistake In Your Life

If you've ever found  yourself wondering, "Why am I in this job?" or "What's next?", then you're not alone.  Here's why: most people lack the specific clarity needed to live powerful, intentional lives.  As a result, they spend their lives reacting to circumstances and opportunities rather than living towards a clear purpose and goal.  In fact, in the face of uncertainty, the default setting is to allow other people or circumstances to determine their future.  

To keep this from happening most people read the first chapter of a book on "decision making" and believe they've addressed the problem.  Others simply busy themselves with the "urgent" tasks of life, hoping things will work out in the end.  But, these strategies are fundamentally flawed.  At best, the world is indifferent to your success and thriving.  At worst, it's actively seeking to hold you back.  Half-hearted efforts and hoping for the best just won't work.

The truth is that if you don't do anything this pattern will lead you further and further from the place you want to be.  You can't leave your life decisions up to other people and circumstances.  But, living differently than most people does not just happen.  It takes intention and design.

• Imagine starting next year with a clear vision of what you were created to do.
• Imagine having energizing, affirming conversations while discovering your unique contributions and potential for life.
• Imagine a retreat, a gift of time that allows you to press pause on the rush of daily life and breathe.
• Imagine you are equipped to love your family well, engage your work with enthusiasm, and live your your life with hope and clarity. 

Imagine...

We Long Our Way Through Life

On a cool November morning in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania  Abraham Lincoln stepped up on a makeshift wooden platform, pulled a speech from his hat and spoke these words, "...It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us...that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom --- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth."  At that moment he was surrounded by war, death and dissension.  

One hundred years later, in the shadow of Lincoln's memorial, Martin Luther King Jr., thundered, "I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."  Many considered his dream a fantasy.

As Lincoln rode on the train towards Gettysburg, he gathered words from decades of struggle and thousands of faces, scribbled them down and deposited them into his tall, black, felt-lined hat.  MLK chiseled his words from granite, a lifetime of racism and oppression of a soul that longed for more.

James K.A. Smith wrote, "We long our way through life."   We live in a present that is not as it should be.  But, when we dare to quiet our minds and still our hearts, we know in subterranean ways there is more goodness to be found.  So, we keep looking.  We keep working to clear the barnacles and encrustations of life that threaten to cover the gleam of a hoped for future. 

Each time we teach our children, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" we step onto the wooden platform with Lincoln.  When we pray, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" we join hands with Reverend King and acknowledge the world is not as it should be. 

What is a longing in your life?  

Take the next four minutes and still yourself.  Turn off your phone.  Forget the news cycle.  Be still and listen for the longing in your life.  

If a bit of guidance would be helpful, think of your life in concentric circles.  You/Your Family/Your Community/The World. Pick one of these areas and focus on it over the next moments. 

Once you've finished, write down one step you can take today to make your longing a reality.  

The Master Class

We sat down fifteen feet away from twin Steinways.  A young, petite woman in a black lace dress sat at one, an older gentleman with wild hair, a blue vest and impressive cufflinks at the other.  She began to play Schumann's Piano Sonata in F#minor Op. 11.  As the final movement ended the room filled with applause. Her performance was fantastic.  

Then he began to quietly speak.  

He asked her to play the beginning of the first movement again.  As she did he began to gently coach her, to draw out music that was not there before.  He didn't use musical terms to guide her; they were both beyond the music on the page.  "You must have a third ear listening in the balcony.  Play to that ear."  "The piano is an imperfect instrument, so we must fool ourselves and play what isn't there." My favorite was, "We all have our missed notes, but this piece invites danger."  

When she played it was beautiful.  When he played it felt transcendent.  

He was a master.  The music was in his DNA.  Over the decades it had seeped down to the mitochondrial level.  At this depth of knowledge he was able to rearrange the soul of the piece and bring new life to already beautiful art. 

Not everyone makes beautiful music, but we are all called to make our world a better and more beautiful place.

Take a moment and think through your response to these prompts.  Write down your thoughts.

1. One way I can improve my craft is __________________. 
2. One step I can take to do so is ____________________.
3. A Master I can seek out for guidance is ___________________.  
4. Who can I gently coach and help bring out what they did not know was there?

Surrender

The Path of God...only with a leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth - Indiana Jones, The Last Crusade

It's one of the iconic movie scenes from my teenage years.  Indiana Jones, in an attempt to save his dying father, must journey through three trials.  The first two test his knowledge and humility.  But the last and most difficult challenges his faith.  He must cross a deep gorge to save his dying father, but there is no bridge.  He is out of options and out of time.   Fear fills his face. His eyes dart side to side and then an epiphany happens.   His countenance transforms and with a sense of calmness he puts his hand over his heart, lifts his left leg straight out and falls forward into the void.  

Ultimately, Indy came to a point of surrender.  It took him a lifetime of work to get to the edge of the cliff.  But, his talent and knowledge could take him no further.  He had to surrender. 

An antinomy is a statement that contains two different and opposite laws or truths.  Freedom is an antinomy.  If you want to be free you must first surrender.

If you believe that your life was created with a purpose and for a reason, then it makes sense to give that life back to the one who created it.  But, we instinctively hold on and want to keep our lives within controlled parameters, to protect what we perceive to be ours.  But, it's not until we fully surrender, until we fall forward into the void, that we are able to live fully into the purpose for which we were created.  

Everyone comes to the cliff's edge, when their talents and resources can take them no further.  In that moment, with your eyes darting back and forth there is an invitation, an invitation to Surrender.  

Put Me In Coach!

When Alabama wins a championship people across the state go nuts.  The city of Tuscaloosa shuts down.   People in the stands are jubilant.  The football team runs across the field screaming hugging anyone in sight.  Nick Saban, the head coach, claps his hands a few times, jogs across the field, congratulates the other coach and then begins to prepare for the next year.  When interviewed he will typically respond, "I'm just so proud of the team.  They persevered and came through with a great win against a great team."  Ironically, the person who has the most responsibility for the championship title is, at least outwardly, taking the least credit.  That's because he's the coach and he understands his role.  

Here are three lessons from coaching to help move you down the field.

1. A coach has a clear vision of where the team needs to go and how they will get there.  Do you have a clear understanding of where the people around you are heading?  Where does your family need to be this time next year?  Do you have a plan to help guide them down that pathway?
2. A coach has mastered the game.  Have you done the work of knowing yourself, of facing your own issues?  Do you have something to offer others?  You cannot give water to thirsty people if you don't have a well from which to draw.
3. Your greatest success is when others succeed.  This seems counterintuitive, but the most fulfilling and life-giving experience you can have is to help those around you become who they were created to be.   Imagine a world in which everyone helped each other reach their greatest potential!